


Pain is just a simple compromise

by crookedspoon



Series: Exchange Fics [28]
Category: Titans (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Fuck Or Die, M/M, Painful Sex, Rape Aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 20:01:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19471147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crookedspoon/pseuds/crookedspoon
Summary: During a prison break at Peña Duro, Dick is forced to rape Wally for the prisoners' entertainment. To up the stakes, Dick has been injected with a Venom variant and is going to die if he doesn't find physical relief soon.





	Pain is just a simple compromise

**Author's Note:**

  * For [salazarastark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/salazarastark/gifts).



> Many thanks to Shu for the amazing beta and stevie for talking me through the ending.

Wally's vision is swimming with tears, his throat is tight, his jaw clenched so hard his teeth are aching. Even if he hadn't already exhausted all the words at his disposal—to reason, threaten, to plead even—to try and get them out of this situation, he still can't speak. Can't bide for time or anything.

Not like they have much of it, anyway. Dick is flushed and breathing funny and clawing at his suit. They said he's gonna die if they don't do this. So they have to do it. No point in dallying. 

Then why are they still dallying?

"I'm getting bored over here," one of the escaped convicts says. "As much fun as it would be to see the little birdie croak, I'd suggest you two hurry up or we might start taking turns with you." His smile is cruel as he gestures around the gathered crowd. "Gonna take a while as you might imagine. Hope you cleared your schedule."

Wally's stomach twists. He's going to be sick. This was supposed to be a super easy recon mission, or as easy as infiltrating an island full of dangerous prisoners could ever be. 

No one told them there had been a prison break. It is likely that no one even knows yet. All systems seem to be offline. 

Wally swallows, and his Adam's apple presses uncomfortably against the inhibitor collar encircling his neck. They had shut off their own comms for this stealth mission so no one expected to hear from them until their rendezvous. And without his powers he can't get them out either.

"I'm sorry," Dick whispers as he takes out his raging erection. It's purple and swollen and Wally does feel a pang of sympathy. He also feels trapped. "I'm so sorry, Wally, but I can't..."

Dick groans and grabs Wally by the waist. Out of instinct, Wally scoots away. _Stupid._ Dick snatches his wrist. 

"I can't help it anymore, I need you..."

Despite his frenzied appearance, Dick still manages to sound like himself and Wally doesn't know which is worse: Dick in a drug-craze and unable to remember anything later or Dick in full possession of his mental faculties—doing this after having careful consideration of the options available to them and concluding this course of action has the highest chance of them making it out alive.

Wally doesn't want this, not here, not like this, not in front of all of these people. But he has to. By God, he has to. It's the only way. He can't afford to doubt what these people told them. That Dick would need to... would need to come inside someone. That finding relief by himself wouldn't be enough.

Wally is afraid. He wants to say he's afraid for Dick, of losing him. He’s not. The shame of it burns in his eyes, sits on his chest like an anvil, crushing his lungs. What happened to best friends forever, through thick and thin, I'd lay down my life for you?

_What a hypocrite you are, Wally West._

Wally takes a shaky breath that sounds too much like a sob and tries to squeeze his tears away. Eyes still closed, he nods. Reluctantly, but he nods. Sweat drops onto his chin. Dick is trembling above him, holding himself back even as he is holding Wally's shoulder down and digging his fingers into Wally's hip, cock dragging against his thigh. Dick is stronger than he looks. Wally would be hard-pressed to fight him off without his powers. He might have been able to, barely, if they hadn’t also injected Dick with a new form of Venom.

He doesn't even try.

Panting, Dick curls his fingers around the hem of Wally's tights and tugs them down, over the swell of Wally's ass. The stone floor is cold beneath Wally's bare skin and he tells himself that is why he's tense. He wants to help his friend. He does. He just wishes there was some other way, any other way.

Wally's stomach clenches as Dick folds himself over him, pushing his knees into his chest and trapping his flaccid cock between the fabric of his suit. Dick's breath is moist and hot against his cheek as he rubs the wet tip of his straining erection against Wally's hole. Part of Wally wishes he were even half as aroused as Dick is, because he's so into Dick and has wanted him for almost a long as they've known each other. Under different circumstances, he would have been thrilled if Dick crawled on top of him with playful intent. Just, not like this. 

This ruins everything.

"You feel so good, Wally. I need to... I want..." 

Wally freezes, fingers clenched around Dick's triceps. He wants to tell him to go ahead, that it's okay, this is about survival. It's not about them. But the words won't leave his mouth. Perhaps Wally isn't so self-sacrificing after all.

The pain is bright and sharp as Dick forces himself inside. Wally can’t breathe. It's like Dick is tearing him apart. The inhibitor collar around his neck is cutting off his access to the Speedforce—without it, Wally can't escape the pain. It's like a repeated slap in the face you can't turn away from, only worse, and Wally doesn't know how to deal with that. He's used to walking off a broken foot five minutes after it happens. Not knowing when it's gonna stop makes him hyperfocus on the pain.

Wally squeezes his eyes shut and turns away. He doesn't want to look at Dick. He doesn’t want to think about what’s happening; doesn't want to be here at all. He just wants this to be over already. But Dick seems to have other plans. His gloved fingers dig into Wally's chin, coaxing him to look up. Wally keeps his eyes closed but lets his head be handled.

The next instant Dick leans even closer and kisses him. 

It's then that the tears spill out of his eyes and he sobs. The pain blooming in his chest is so much more consuming than the knife-like pain stabbing his insides. Wally just wants to curl up on his side and cry, and he wants to hug Dick and kiss him back. Pinned beneath Dick, he can do neither. 

If he’d only been braver about admitting his crush, they could have shared their first kiss a long time ago. Like on a hot summer day, while stealing each other's ice cream cones, or during the winter, tasting of hot chocolate. Perhaps then, it wouldn't be tainted by this. Too late now.

As if emboldened by the kiss, Dick thrusts faster and with more force, seeking to go deeper. Wally holds on to Dick's elbows, throwing his head back and hissing through his teeth. Now that the dam has broken, he can no longer keep in the tears.

"Rob..." he sobs, but Dick can't hear him. His brows are drawn together in concentration, his lips stretched in a lopsided grin. He looks both desperate and blissful like this, and Wally can only pray that it's over soon. _Please let it stop..._

He doesn't know how much time passes but it feels like hours and all the while he can hear the prisoners laugh and make disgusting comments.

"Aww, look at them go at each other. I bet we did them a favor."

"They never would have gotten this far if we hadn't given them a push."

"I call dibs on the birdie. Once he's done rutting the other kid, I'm gonna pop _his_ cherry and show him what a good time feels like."

He let Dick kiss his wet cheeks and his neck, let him bite, let him hold down his hands or his shoulders as he fucked into him, grunting and growling and growing wilder with each passing moment.

Somewhere along the line Wally realized that none of the convicts followed up on their brave words because they were afraid of what Dick was becoming. If they'd approached him, he'd sooner have ripped out their throat than let them touch Wally or himself. Wally doesn't care enough to make anything out of it.

By the time Dick comes inside him, sudden and hot and making him queasy, none of what they say even registers anymore. He is drained, all the fight gone out of him like air out of a balloon. Every one of Dick's movements inside him was an icepick to the gut and after a while, when it wouldn't stop hurting, Wally just kind of... gave up. He just let it happen. Eventually, he even stopped crying so much after that.

Dick is calmer now, slumped on top of Wally and catching his breath. Wally hopes it's over now. Belatedly, he also hopes that Dick is cured now, that they can go back to normal again, even though he knows that they can't.

As soon as the collar comes off, Wally's body will heal and there will be no evidence of the bites and bruises Dick inflicted. He's not that sure if the same can be said about their friendship.

* * *

That night and the following, Dick can't sleep. There is a pit in his stomach that keeps growing like an ulcer. He tosses and turns, unable to keep flashing back to that horrible day. Dick had never been running that hot before in his life. He felt like he was going to split apart at the seams any second and peel out of his skin. Wally had been the thing that kept him together... but at what cost?

They're no longer speaking. Or Wally is not speaking to Dick, despite Dick's many efforts at reaching out. The others are starting to sense that something is up between them, even though Wally hasn't been at Happy Harbor since the incident. It's only a matter of time before they'll start to pry.

Secrets don't stay buried for long.

Dick wants to come clean, but he doesn't think it's his secret to share. Yes, he shoulders the blame for everything that's happened—he was the leader on that mission and he should have pulled back the minute they learned the island was compromised. It doesn't matter that by the time they did, it had already been too late. He should have ordered Wally to get them out of them instead of engaging and cockily assuming they could take the two prisoners that had ambushed them—not realizing that more had been waiting to jump them the moment they thought themselves safe.

Dick shoulders the blame, but Wally would bear the stigma. 

He can't imagine that Wally would enjoy their friends looking at him differently, thinking of him as a victim perhaps, and tiptoeing around him. He's pretty much given Dick to understand that he wants to forget it ever happened.

But Dick can't forget. He still remembers Wally's eyes that day, bright with laughter before the mission, then bright with tears as it became clear that Dick had to rape him if he wanted to survive. By the time Dick was done with him, Wally's spark had gone out of them, leaving them dull and empty.

His stomach flips at the memory.

He can still taste Wally's tears on his lips. Tears he'd shed because Dick hurt him. 

The sickest part about it all of it is the euphoria he'd felt. Dick is the last person who likes to see his friends crying in pain and yet, in this fucked up state he couldn't help thinking how _good_ the tears looked streaming down Wally's pallid face. Or how much his sobs had turned him on.

Even now, his cock throbs as those sounds and images flash through his head.

Dick is the absolute worst. He hurt his best friend and he _enjoyed_ doing it. Even if it was a drug that made him feel that way, Dick just can't shake the feelings that remain from it.

There is no excuse for what he's done. Perhaps he should have risked dying after all. At least then he wouldn't have to worry about fixing this. If it was still possible to fix anything between them.

When Wally finally shows up at Happy Harbor, days after they got rescued, it's to get his stuff. There's an air of heaviness around him and it's obvious to everyone within a mile radius that the sunny mood he puts on is fake.

He needs to quit, he says. College is demanding enough without a superhero identity on the side. There is a joke about intelligence as well as speed in there, but Dick cannot jump at it the way he usually would. Instead, he hangs back and observes. Seeing Wally in person again is worse than he expected. How does he even approach him now?

Dick's hands are shaking as he works up the nerve to talk to Wally. His heart is pulsing in his throat, making it difficult to swallow, much less have a conversation that Dick would like to avoid even though it's necessary. 

"You're hovering," Wally remarks without turning to face Dick. He dumps a pile of clothes onto the bed to sort through. Some of them are Dick's. A fond smile wants to form on Dick's face, remembering all the times Wally came ill-prepared for the weather or—more likely—spilled something on his clothes and had to borrow a sweater or a T-shirt from Dick. They used to be too short on him before Dick's hit his growth spurt and overshot Wally in height.

He tamps it down. It feels disrespectful to be grinning like a fool now when Wally is obviously going through a tough time because of him. 

His fake sunny mood is gone, as if he saw no need to put it on for Dick alone. 

"Can we talk?" Dick asks, leaning against the doorframe to Wally's room. His shoulders are tense; he feels uncomfortably exposed like this, wary of anyone who might overhear and start asking questions. He doesn't want Wally to feel cornered, however, so he sucks it up.

"There's nothing to talk about." Wally grimaces at one of Dick's hoodies as he folds it and places it on the other side of his duffel bag.

"I think there is." Dick closes the door. His comical deliberateness gives Wally ample chance to notice and tell him to leave it open. He doesn't. "Wally, please."

"I don't want to talk about it." He sounds tired, as if he too has been unable to sleep for the past few days.

Dick grits his teeth. He wants to give Wally the space he needs. _Don't rush him, you idiot._ And yet, he needs to say something, keep this line of communication going. "Wally, you... you saved my life." 

Wally pauses for a moment, frozen mid-fold. "You would have done the same." 

"All the same, I owe you."

Dick is itching to reach out, to take Wally's hand, to embrace him and hug him against his chest. He's always found comfort through touch and feels compelled to extend the same to anyone in need of it. Wally must be in dire need of comfort and it kills Dick not to be able to provide it for him. He wants to show Wally that he can be gentle, too. Wants to stroke his hair and the shell of his ears. Wants to kiss his forehead, his eyelids, his cheeks. Wants to treat him with the tenderness he deserves. The tenderness he couldn't give him before...

Although his heart is urging him on, knocking rapidly against his chest, he doesn't do any of these things. Doesn't dare to. Instead, he drums nervous fingers against his jeans

"Dick, we're friends," Wally says, sounding mechanical about it. "You don't owe me anything." 

"Are we? Still friends, I mean?" Because how can he still call himself someone's friend if he forced himself on that person? He feels sick for even wanting to go back, to pretend like none of this has ever happened. He needs to own up to this. "After what I did."

Wally curls his fingers into fists and squeezes his eyes shut, exhales through his teeth. "Dick, please. I told you I can't talk about this. Not yet. I don't even want to _think_ about it."

Silence falls like a heavy blanket between them. Dick wants to honor Wally's wishes, but the tension in the air makes him feel antsy. He never had to contend with any length of silence from Wally who was always bubbling with jokes and stories and exuberance. To see him this quiet and shrunken hurts on a spiritual level.

"Do you... do you want to hit me?" Dick offers. It's all he's got left.

Wally finally looks at him then, tired and pale and so much older than the last time Dick's seen him.

"You can hit me as hard as you like; if it makes you feel any better."

"You mean to make _you_ feel better." Wally gazes down at his hands, curls and uncurls his fingers, as if contemplating the damage he could do with them.

Suddenly, he's in front of Dick, the scent of ozone and oranges wafting off of him. His arm is pulled back for a big swing. and Dick braces himself for the impact that doesn't come. Wally merely bumps his fist against his chest.

"I can't do it," he says, letting his head fall onto Dick's shoulder. "I can't do it, Dick."

Out of instinct, Dick raises his arms to hug Wally, but he stops himself in time, hands hovering awkwardly above Wally's shoulders. He lets them fall back to his sides.

"I... liked you, did you know that?" Wally murmurs. "I bet you never even suspected. I used to fantasize about you. About all the different ways I might confess to you and how you'd jump in my arms and confess you always liked me, too. About how we... how we'd sleep together for the first time. I must have imagined a million different times. I never imagined it like this."

Heat erupts all across Dick's too-tight skin. "Wally, I..." 

He wants to hold him so bad, tell him it's all right, he's never going to hurt him again. Except he is all too aware that it's nothing he can promise for as long as he is part of the Team. There will always be villains who will use their friendship against them. Dick never wanted to hurt Wally in the first place.

"I like you, too," Dick whispers, his pulse going so rapidly he can barely hear himself over the noise. 

Wally expels a breath that sounds both like a huff of laughter and a sob. "Did you start liking me before or after you... it doesn't matter. I'm not sure I even want to know. It's too late anyway."

Dick swallows audibly and stands rooted to his spot, fingers gripping his jeans tightly.

"It's okay. I'm not even mad at you. I _know _it's not your fault."__

__"Your head says one thing, your heart another," Dick murmurs._ _

__Wally balls a fist into Dick's shirt, then shoves him away. "I don't blame you. But I can't do this either. Pretend like everything's okay between us when it's not." He lets his head hang as he zips up his duffel bag and shoulders it._ _

__Dick knows he's letting an important moment pass by when he doesn't stop Wally from going to the door._ _

__"Are you going to talk to Dinah?" he asks stupidly._ _

__"No, and I hope you're not either. This has to stay between us."_ _

__"Of course." It feels wrong to say this but it's what Wally wants, so what else is there? "I promise."_ _

__Wally just nods, expressionless. "Take care, Dick."_ _

__With that, he leaves Dick in his old room, unresolved and wanting, among memories of better times._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Misguided Ghosts" by Paramore.


End file.
